Jesus' birthday is almost upon us. So I saw this as a great excuse for posting some funny pictures.
These first photos were taken during my last Thanksgiving safari to West Virginia. I really should have put them up sooner than now, but I'm lazy. I'm usually about one holiday behind. Except for Halloween and Saint Patty's.
Spacecase and I were making the rounds at a WV mall. We saw this gem of a stand that sells nothing but wood carvings of Jesus. I looked in vain for a name, but they didn't seem to have one. I could have asked the proprietor, only I didn't want to get them talking. I also knew that my time was limited. They saw me taking pictures of the carvings, and seemed to be debating whether or not they should ask me to leave. I was saved by the fact that they saw me talking ino my camera and weren't sure if it was actually a phone. They were obviously unaware of the miracle of combined technology. Score one for Science! The shop's name was probably something boring, anyway. Nothing cool like, All Things Jesus or Jesus 'R Us.
For the next picture, don't you think it would have been great to surreptitiously place a couple of bowling trophies on the back shelf?
I think wood-carving Jesus must have been casting out some demons into swine, 'cause at this nearby toy store the pigs were goin' nuts! Look this one trying to escape his confines.
After he got a good look at the people around the mall, all he wanted was to get back into the toy store.
Last but not least, one of my favorite websites ever: "I am with you always." This site tells the story of a man who at the age of 50 was called upon by God to draw pictures of Jesus. God wanted him to show people that the Lord is always with them. People send him pictures of themselves, or loved ones, involved in an activity. The artist then duplicates the picture, and adds in Jesus. Here's are some samples.
It's comforting to know that Jesus watches over the clowns of the world. God forbid there should be some sort of confetti accident. The child looks really entertained, doesn't she?
This photo really kills me. First, you can tell that Jesus doesn't dig the corporate world. Could he be less involved? He's actually looking out the window! The other thing that gets me is how much he looks like Keven Smith. Was the artist maybe watching Clerks when he did this one?
Jesus looks like he can barely wait for those pies to come out of the oven. Mmmmm-mm!
Man, this one just creeps me out. Jesus looks just a little too intense back there. Of course, there's the possibility that the trucker is whacked out on beer and crank, and maybe Jesus is saying, "Steady, steady, just a little further to the motel . . ."
Hey, look! Silent Bob is helping this nerdy kid keep time on the French Horn.
Jesus is seen here watching over a mother and child. 'Nuff said.
Jesus! Look out! You're sinking into the course's sand trap!
Another one that's a little unnerving. Jesus has his hand on her arm like he's worried that she's going to hurt the guy. Also, is the patient the same corporate guy from the earlier picture?
I could go on and on. I think I put up most of the pictures from the site. The best ones anyway. But there are more if you're interested.
I think I'm pretty Jesused out right now. Besides, I really have to go to the bathroom.
I REALLY hope Jesus isn't standing there like some invisible, smiling phantom while I'm in the bathroom.
[this is good] I am so glad to know about "With You Always." That absolutely made my day.
Posted by: Emily Lawton | 12/25/2006 at 08:30 AM
And it also makes for some great new desktop wallpaper! : )
Posted by: Ben Martini | 12/27/2006 at 07:48 AM
[this is good] Creepy man. Too fucking creepy. And who can forget Why does Jesus always get to be on your team? I don't know whether my favorite is Ballerina Jesus, Jesus Said To Check Your Ass Into the Boards!, or Everybody Was Kung-Fu Jesus.
Posted by: Doc Paradox | 12/27/2006 at 11:09 AM
Posted by: Ben Martini | 12/27/2006 at 02:42 PM
[this is good] Good Lordy.. (that's right, I take the Lord's name in vain!) that's one heavy metal Jesus.. I think he needs to work out a little bit, looks like he's put on a few pounds since his last paintings ... nothing says "I am the son of God" like a six pack.
Posted by: Carrie | 12/29/2006 at 07:30 AM
I agree. Someone should say something to him.
Wouldn't it be cool to have him at your gym? Just so you could say things like, "Can you spot me, Jesus?" Or, "Jesus, can I work in?"
Posted by: Ben Martini | 12/29/2006 at 09:07 AM
I dunno, I just picture Jesus saying, "Dude, that's nasty. Wipe your sweat off the bench."
Posted by: RedScylla | 01/09/2007 at 09:29 AM
[this is good] [this is fantastic] I laughed, I cried. five enthusiastic thumbs up.
Posted by: IG | 01/09/2007 at 10:54 AM
Oh my goodness! these are so great! I showed my hubby and he thought they were a joke, then I sent him a link and he was shocked, and we laughed together!
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